Tonight, on "The Dukes"

In which the boys become the titular repo men, and the counterfeiters are inconsequential...   Boss Hogg and his wife Lulu are at the dealership of Ace Parker, the only used car salesman in Hazzard County, to claim a Rolls-Royce car (it appears to be a Phantom V) for Lulu's upcoming birthday, only to find that Ace has just sold it out from under them. Bo an Luke are driving by and stop, spotting a car that Ricard Petty used, and wrecked, while filming a series of tire commercials. They open the hood to find that it has a super fancy engine in it, and decide to buy it to put in their car to win an upcoming race. I'm pretty sure this is just a painted over General Lee. Inside, the Hoggs demand that Ace get them the car back, and we find out that Lulu made Boss give Rosco the position of Sheriff so he would "have a safe job." Now, I could be mistaken, but I'm pretty sure that there are far safer jobs than police officer, no matter how small the town. Anyway...

In which the boys accidentally transport moonshine, a pregnant woman steals some money, and not a whole lot else happens... We open on a blue sedan being chased by the police, and surprise, Bo and Luke are driving it, because god forbid they go one day without risking their probation. Bo almost runs down a horse cart, and they narrowly avoid Rosco. Boss calls Rosco on the C.B. and tells him to get his ass to the Boar's Nest, and then yells at Rosco for using C.B. lingo, despite, you know, calling him on one and all. Rosco turns the chase over to Enos, who does an admirable job of trying to keep up, matching them jump for jump. Luke discovers moonshine in the backseat, and then this weird thing happens where the Balladeer says "Moonshine," Luke says "Moonshine," and then the Balladeer says "Moonshine" again. So, what was it called again? Luke starts throwing the jugs out the window where they smash open on the road. They drive over a bridge whe...

In which Daisy publishes a song, the Dukes interfere with an FBI case, and the word "pirate" is used far too many times... We open with Bo and Luke practicing archery in the Dukes' backyard. Jesse makes a cryptic remark about wild boars maybe being in the backyard, when Daisy comes flying out of the house, hollering about a song she wrote! Being sung by Jessi Colter! On the radio! Everyone pretends to be impressed, then Bo asks how much they paid her. Daisy asks what he means, and Luke explains to her about royalties. Daisy then informs him that she found an ad in a magazine offering to publish a song for $50. Bo tells her that magazines sometimes run ads for fraudulent operations. Uncle Jesse thinks Daisy's been fucked over, and sends the kids to Atlanta to either get a royalty check or the $50 back. He tells them to go easy on the folks in the big city, as they don't know any better. I see what you did there, Uncle Jesse, you old rascal! Daisy has as lif...

In which we are introduced to the Dukes, the law, and brewing illegal alcohol for profit is less objectionable than gambling... Welcome to Hazzard County, says the narrator (Waylon Jennings, credited here and ever after as The Balladeer.) He introduces us to Luke and Bo Duke (Tom Wopat and John Schneider), who are cousins, and claims that they fight the system. Luke (left) and Bo Duke.  All that is gleaned from them at this point is that they tool around in their car and bicker like an old married couple. Luke says Bo drives as well as “my fanny whips apple butter.” So, either really badly, or incredibly well, depending on the culinary skills of said butt. I don’t know that I’d want to eat it, no matter how expertly it was prepared. Sorry, Luke’s ass.   I'll pass, thanks. Cooter (Ben Jones), the Dukes’ friend and the local mechanic, tells the boys that the sheriff is bringing in a load of illegal slot machines. We are then introduced to the Sher...

I've been a Dukes of Hazzard fan since I was thirteen. I was off on summer vacation and my cousin told me about this old show that TNN was running, and, looking up to him as I did, I checked it out. It was unfortunately when the station was running some of the early Coy and Vance episodes (we'll get to that later), but I more or less liked what I saw. It had everything a  teenage boy could want: cool car chases, broad slapstick, and a girl in skimpy shorts. I was hooked. This is all your fault. Over the next five years, I ate up everything Dukes related, scouring the nascent Internet for any and all information I could find about the cast, the characters, but especially the car. You know the one, the 1969 Dodge Charger known as the General Lee. Still my dream car. I even went through a period of months where I carried a printed out photo of Daisy Duke in my wallet, which, fifteen years out, is super sad and dorky. It was this photo. I never said I was cool. ...