Tonight, on "The Dukes"

In which the season comes to a close, and the bank robbers dress like Laurel and Hardy… Bo and Luke are driving around at what is supposed to be night time, but it’s obviously daytime with the brightness dropped down. Some asshole drives up beside them and rams the crap out of the General Lee, eventually running it off the road. Bo and Luke wonder what the fuck is going on as he drives off. They get to the Boar’s Nest, where Luke has seen the car parked outside. The driver starts giving Daisy shit, and Bo punches the guy in his face. A fight ensues, and the guy is arrested, along with Bo and Luke. The camera then pans over to these creepy guys who have been sitting and watching the whole thing. They are obviously going to be important later, BUT HOW?! At the jail, Uncle Jesse pays the $200 to get Bo and Luke out of jail, and then proceeds to tear the boys a new one, as that money was supposed to go toward the mortgage payment. There was originally going to be a piece h...

In which the Dukes’ friend gets took, so they take the takers… The Dukes take the General Lee over to Cooter, who informs them that the car is going to need $180 worth of repairs. They freak out, as they need the General to be in top shape for the big race that they seem to enter every damn week. They can’t afford that, so Cooter tells them to get a job, and tells them about a job he heard about, driving a semi truck. Meanwhile, Boss Hogg is drinking mint juleps while talking to Rosco, because how stereotypical can you get? They see a semi drive through, containing one Helen Hogan, who is known to both Boss and Rosco as a swindler extraordinaire. He tells Rosco to tail her. Bo and Luke convince her to hire them, after Luke pulls some fancy maneuvers with the truck.  On their way home, they run into an old family friend, Dewey Stovall, and invite him over to dinner the next night. The next morning, Helen Hogan explains that she runs a company that makes shock absorbers,...

In which the Dukes are actually not in the wrong at all! That’s refreshing… After nearly three real-world minutes of Enos chasing the Dukes around, we open at the Hazzard bank, where Boss Hogg is counting out one million dollars in bills that have become too tattered so he can send them to be burned and exchanged with fresh bills by the Atlanta branch of the Federal Reserve. Boss then tells Rosco his plan, which is to have the armored car driven by his cousin, Cletus, to burn up in an accident while transporting the money, and that the money bag will be filled with old phone books instead of money. Again, he’s doing this out in the middle of the bank floor, instead of his office. So, Cletus pulls off to the side of some back road and explodes the truck. Bo and Luke happen to be in the area and turn around to go see what’s up. They come upon Cletus, who claims that the truck just blew up, and that he was thrown clear of the blast. Bo and Luke believe him, even though he doesn’t ...

In which the Dukes become deputies and meet a minor country singer… The General Lee is tailing an unfamiliar convertible down some back road. This is weird, until it’s revealed that Bo and Luke are attempting to get some strange. The girls suggest going skinny dipping in the nearby lake, and the boys readily agree. Bo and Luke strip down and get in the water, only to have the girls run off with their clothes and the money that they had won in something called a “Snipe Hunting Contest.” They hot-wire their car and chase after the thieves, who have just sped past Rosco. He gives chase, and Bo and Luke catch up to him and slam into Rosco’s car, causing the door to fall off. I’m not sure that this could actually happen, but hey, it’s funny. He arrests them for a whole bunch of charges, including indecent exposure. So, they end up stuck in jail, and our story can really begin At the jail, Rosco receives a phone call from the chief of police of neighboring Springville County. He ex...

In which Boss Hogg is cheated out of a call from the President of the United States of America... We open with a limousine driving through Hazzard, and the Balladeer tells us that it’s the official limo of the President of the United States, who apparently sends the car ahead to wherever he’s going to be (I assume Atlanta, as why else would they be in Hazzard). They stop for gas at the Boar’s Nest, because where else are they going to go? Inside, they order coffee and hit on Daisy, while Bo tries to get rid of a bad case of hiccups. This minor plotline runs through the episode, presumably to give John Schneider something to do. There was a similar plotline in last week’s show, where he had a pair of uncomfortable boots that finally split open on him. What’s next? The boys head outside with Cooter and Cooter proceeds to steal the limo. Only then do the Secret Service guys realize they didn’t leave anyone watching the car. They rush off, fearing the wrath of the president, as the...