In which Boss Hogg is cheated out of a call from the President of the United States of America...
We open with a limousine driving through Hazzard, and the Balladeer tells us that it’s the official limo of the President of the United States, who apparently sends the car ahead to wherever he’s going to be (I assume Atlanta, as why else would they be in Hazzard). They stop for gas at the Boar’s Nest, because where else are they going to go?
Inside, they order coffee and hit on Daisy, while Bo tries to get rid of a bad case of hiccups. This minor plotline runs through the episode, presumably to give John Schneider something to do. There was a similar plotline in last week’s show, where he had a pair of uncomfortable boots that finally split open on him. What’s next?
The boys head outside with Cooter and Cooter proceeds to steal the limo. Only then do the Secret Service guys realize they didn’t leave anyone watching the car. They rush off, fearing the wrath of the president, as there is nothing like an upset toddler.
Bo and Luke are driving home, and see Cooter in the limo, pursued by the Secret Service guys. They, not wanting to get in the president’s good graces and maybe get off probation, fuck around and end up getting the Servicemen tossed in the lake.
Back at the farm, Jesse chews the boys out over the whole thing, and rightfully so! He points out that they are now accessories to Cooter’s felony, and tells them to help Cooter make sure the Feds find the car, and tells Bo to get rid of his goddamned hiccups!
Cooter reveals to the boys that the limo is currently in the Dukes’ barn, as he had to push it there when it ran out of gas. He says he’s sorry, but he doesn’t seem very sorry, more like “yeah, I stole the car, what of it? I wonder what’s on the TV?” They resolve to try and dump the car somewhere, but just then, Enos pulls up asking to search the barn. Luke knocks on the barn door, so Bo and Cooter push it out the back door and Enos doesn’t see the car.
The boys and Cooter put a gallon of gas into the limo and take off to go dump it. They are pursued by Rosco, but manage to evade him. Boss is not pleased, as he seems convinced that the president will be so thankful that he will not only receive a phone call, but that the president will call on him personally to deliver thanks. I think Boss is delusional.
The limo runs out of gas, so they stow it in a barn and head back to the farm to get more gas, so they can leave it at a certain spot, and Jesse will call it in for the FBI to pick it up. I don’t see why it needs to be driven any farther, or why they even bothered to stash it. Couldn’t they have just left it where it was when they ran out of gas and told the FBI, “Yeah, it’s over on Dog Dick Hollow Road,” and that would be that? I guess not, as we still have half the episode to go.
Enos spies on Daisy, who was told to distract him, and she leads him off on a chase, giving the boys time to do what they have to do.
Meanwhile, the boys come upon what appears to be a dead body sprawled out of a car in the middle of the road. They pull over and check it out, only to discover the guy’s still alive, and has a gun! His partner appears, and they steal the limo. Cooter says “Oh well! We got rid of it!” because he doesn’t care about anyone but himself. Luke point out that Uncle Jesse is still calling the whereabouts in, and therefore is going to be in a bunch of trouble. They run off on foot and are picked up by Daisy.
They head off down a back road and see Boss Hogg’s Cadillac waiting to get into a gate in the middle of the woods. They follow him in and find the guys that stole the limo, who have a chop shop back there, which is secretly run by Boss (gasp!). They contact Jesse and have him bring some bow and arrows, as they are going to play another exciting game of Collateral Damage!
Daisy distracts the guard by flashing her ass at him, letting Bo and Luke slip right by and head inside. The guard won’t come outside, so she walks off and pretends to get assaulted. Only then does he come to her aid, leaving the gate unwatched.
Bo and Luke get inside the upper level and fire some dynamite arrows into the chop shop, causing yet another giant explosion. They then jump down to the floor, affording us a nice view of their stuntmen.
They then take the limo back to wherever they were going to drop it off, and Jesse gets a phone call from the president thanking him for everything. How nice!
Tune in next week when John Schneider, sick of having plotlines involving hiccups and sore feet, writes his OWN damn show:
We open with a limousine driving through Hazzard, and the Balladeer tells us that it’s the official limo of the President of the United States, who apparently sends the car ahead to wherever he’s going to be (I assume Atlanta, as why else would they be in Hazzard). They stop for gas at the Boar’s Nest, because where else are they going to go?
Inside, they order coffee and hit on Daisy, while Bo tries to get rid of a bad case of hiccups. This minor plotline runs through the episode, presumably to give John Schneider something to do. There was a similar plotline in last week’s show, where he had a pair of uncomfortable boots that finally split open on him. What’s next?
The limo runs out of gas, so they stow it in a barn and head back to the farm to get more gas, so they can leave it at a certain spot, and Jesse will call it in for the FBI to pick it up. I don’t see why it needs to be driven any farther, or why they even bothered to stash it. Couldn’t they have just left it where it was when they ran out of gas and told the FBI, “Yeah, it’s over on Dog Dick Hollow Road,” and that would be that? I guess not, as we still have half the episode to go.
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