Tonight, on "The Dukes"

From all of us here at DoH reviewed (all of us? This is a one man operation, and I'm not even very good at it...), have a safe and happy Halloween, All Hallow's Eve, or Hallowe'en! Updates resume Saturday, November 2! And yes, they are technically Star Wars Jedi Ghosts, but those are the only kinds of ghosts I can make.

Hey guys. I've been dealing with some pretty bad depression as of late, not to mention my hard drive dying on me. I apologize for the lack of updates, and I fully intend to get back on the horse ASAP. Thank you for your patience.

In which Boss gets an offer he can’t refuse, but I really wish he would have… Okay, here we go. Bo and Luke are driving along, only to be stopped by a crapload of sheep in the road. Bo mutters something about having never seen such hairy pigs, which is probably supposed to be funny, but it just makes him seem ignorant. Come on, Bo, you grew up and continue to live on a farm, surely you know the difference. Meanwhile, Rosco lays in wait to catch them speeding with his new super fancy radar gun. He clocks them at 1/2 mile over the limit, and decides to try and ticket them, because he’s an asshole. At the Boars Nest, Boss takes a meeting with an old acquaintance, Black Jack Bender, whom he knows from back in his moonshiner days. This guy keeps calling Boss “Curly,” and I can’t decide if it’s a play on the fact that he’s bald, or a Three Stooges reference. So the chase ends with Rosco’s car almost completely submerged in the water, and he’s soaked through.with no Jedi kid ...

In which there's horse racing, and my interest in the episode is pretty minimal... The Duke boys, (with Uncle Jesse in tow) are driving along, singing “Amazing Grace” at the top of their lungs. Well, Luke and Jesse are. Bo just looks sort of amused. Rosco and Enos are tailing them, as Rosco is convinced the Dukes are transporting a bunch of mash, and are therefore making moonshine. Now, there’s just some bags of stuff in the back of the General Lee, and the internet tells me that mash is a mixture of water, yeast, corn, and sugar. Wouldn’t mash be very difficult to transport in a bag, and much easier in a bucket or something? So the Dukes get to a farm, owned by a guy named Tolliver, who has both a hot daughter and a pretty pronounced stutter. Jesse bitches about transporting what turns out to be horse feed in the General Lee, and points out that they have a perfectly good pickup truck. Good for you, Jesse. Jesse mentions that Tolliver wanted them to see something, someth...

In which there’s not really any gold at all… Bo and Luke are high tailing it to catch up with an RV camper, with Uncle Jesse in tow. Jesse’s got a sore tooth, and the RV contains their dentist, who drives it around as his mobile office. This is pretty hard to believe, but apparently, it has happened at least once . Anyway, Jesse has a cavity, and the doctor is on his way to an appointment elsewhere, so he gives Jesse a bunch of pain pills and says he’ll check it out when he comes back into town. They drive away, and are nearly run off the road by what everyone is calling a limousine, but I’m not convinced. Everyone gets out of their respective vehicles and whips their dicks out over who caused the accident, but then a guy gets out of the car and calms everyone down by offering to pay for all the damage. His is a Rich Texan, and transporting some mysterious cargo through Hazzard. His goons get all like “wait, what about the cargo?!” something that Bo and Luke would have know...

In which Uncle Jesse races Boss Hogg to determine the best ridge runner of them all… Welcome back for Season 2, those of you that are returning, and hello to any new readers! After a new shot of the Balladeer’s guitar (it’s now Waylon Jenning’s signature Telecaster instead of an acoustic), we see that both Cooter and Enos have been added as full time cast members, with their names in the theme song and everything! So, now we’re guaranteed more of Cooter’s “helping” and Enos’s “ogling Daisy.” Yay? The Boars Nest is closed for a private function this evening, for the Annual Ridgerunner’s Reunion. where all the retired moonshiners and friends get together to drink, eat, and reminisce about when they used to break the law for fun and profit. They’re watching a  filmstrip of young Jesse and Boss racing to outrun the Sheriff of Hatchapee County, Emmitt “Spike” Loomis, so called because he liked to take a railroad spike and use it to tear apart the cars of moonshiners. After ...

Due to poorer than usual time management this past week, coupled with the fact that I’m out of town celebrating my wife’s birthday, today’s post will be delayed until late tonight or early tomorrow. My sincere apologies for the delay.

For my between season special surprise, I’ve decided to review a random episode of “The Dukes,” Warner Bros’ attempt to turn the popular series into a Saturday morning hit. The intro lets Uncle Jesse tell the plot: The boys and Daisy are competing with Boss Hogg and Rosco in a race around the world in the General Lee and Boss Hogg’s Cadillac, both of which can fly and do other crazy cartoon things. The winner gets some prize money and the deed to the Duke farm, which must be the most desirable plot of land ever, because Boss wants it bad. For today’s selection, I’ll be taking a look at the second season premiere, “Boss O’Hogg and the Little People, from September 17, 1983.. We open with Uncle Jesse doing some actual farming, when some raccoon runs up, brandishing a letter from the kids. Turns out this raccoon is named Smokey, and he’s Uncle Jesse’s pet. Jesse regales the raccoon with the details of their last stop, in Ireland. I was really hoping the entire episode was just Jesse ...