In which there's horse racing, and my interest in the episode is pretty minimal...
The Duke boys, (with Uncle Jesse in tow) are driving along, singing “Amazing Grace” at the top of their lungs. Well, Luke and Jesse are. Bo just looks sort of amused.
Rosco and Enos are tailing them, as Rosco is convinced the Dukes are transporting a bunch of mash, and are therefore making moonshine. Now, there’s just some bags of stuff in the back of the General Lee, and the internet tells me that mash is a mixture of water, yeast, corn, and sugar. Wouldn’t mash be very difficult to transport in a bag, and much easier in a bucket or something?
So the Dukes get to a farm, owned by a guy named Tolliver, who has both a hot daughter and a pretty pronounced stutter. Jesse bitches about transporting what turns out to be horse feed in the General Lee, and points out that they have a perfectly good pickup truck. Good for you, Jesse.
Jesse mentions that Tolliver wanted them to see something, something he called “a miracle.” I was really hoping it’d be a Fatima situation, or at least one of those bogus everyday miracles like a sunrise, but no, it’s just some dumb horse.
Tolliver explains that he’s planning on entering the horse, named Manassas, in the annual horse race sponsored by Boss’ wife Lulu at the fair every year. Everyone else is like “That idea is stupid, and you’re stupid for having it!” To shut them up, Tolliver suggests they race the car against the horse, using the speedometer as a gauge of the horse’s speed. The horse clocks in at 40mph, which is apparently fast. After this, Jesse reluctantly agrees to put up half the entry fee to enter the horse.
At the Boar’s Nest, Boss is in the phone with Lulu, assuring her their horse will win the race, as he is buying a “sure thing” horse from a Mr. Dunlap that very moment. Rosco bursts in and tells Boss about the Tolliver’s horse. Boss shoos the horse guy out of the office, and as Dunlap leaves, he puts a decorative pig statue on top of the CB radio’s talk button, so he’ll be able to hear their conversation from in his car.
So, everyone heads up to the Tolliver farm, where Rosco’s sirens spook the horse, which causes him to run off, and Bo has to hop on a different, presumably shittier, horse to save her. He does so, and Dunlap and his crony see how fast Manassas can go, and resolve to steal the horse as soon as possible. Boss, having seen as well, wants to do a real time trial on a real track, and, if everything turns out okay, he’ll forgive Tolliver’s back mortgage pay, and pay for his entry in the race! The Dukes agree to keep the horse at their place overnight until the time trial the next day, which is weird, because even though Boss says the Tolliver place is falling apart, the damn horse has been living there all its life, I doubt one more night would hurt it, really. But anyway, plot moving forward!
Boss contrives a bait and switch plan in which Cletus, driving erratically, nearly runs into the Dukes while transporting Manassas, and Molotov cocktails his flipped car. Then, while they are checking on him, Rosco switches out Manassas with a different horse.
At the time trials, the Tollivers are all “What the fuck? This is not my horse!” Bo and Luke are as shocked as anyone, but Boss has them arrested for rustling. During the arrest, Luke somehow manages to cuff Boss and Enos together, and they get away, just like they always do.
Back at the farm, everyone (and Cooter!) sits around eating watermelon and discussing the situation. Cooter tells them that Tolliver isn’t too upset with them, as he knows they didn’t steal the horse. They deduce that Boss is probably keeping the horse nearby, and resolve to go look for it, their remaining melon uneaten. Meanwhile, Rosco, who actually DOES know where the horse is being kept, brings it some food and leaves. He was followed there by Dunlap and Co., who steal the horse, finally.
Back in town, Enos remarks about the hay that’s in the back of Rosco’s car. He tells Enos about taking hay to where the horse is. Daisy conveniently stops by and chats up Enos, who tells her about where the horse is. She, in turn, tells Bo and Luke, who head that way, only to pass the horse thieves on the road.
They stop and alert anyone who will listen via CB about the situation, when Boss and Rosco show up and arrest Bo and Luke again. The Balladeer pipes up and totally burns Texas, saying, “Getting arrested twice on the same day for the same thing, you kind of get the feeling that you’re in Texas.”
In jail, Luke makes a deal with Boss, saying that they’ll tell them where the real rustlers are, if they let them out. He agrees, and they leave. Cooter alerts the boys that he just serviced a van that looks a lot like the rustlers’ van, AND it once said Dunlap Horse Ranch on it. Luke tells Cooter to meet them somewhere, and tells the Tollivers that everything’s gonna be all right, probably because there’s only 10 minutes left.
After a tussle with Dunlap, they knock him out and take the horse back, Luke riding it back along a trail, while Bo rigs up a fake horse tail sticking out the back of the trailer and steals it, the rustlers giving chase.
They eventually realize they’ve been took, and head back to try and catch Luke. Despite their best efforts, they don’t. and Luke rides the horse up just in time to register for the big race. Manassas wins the race, and everything turns out okay, except for Lulu. She came down with the gout from eating pig knuckles, and couldn’t be there.
The Duke boys, (with Uncle Jesse in tow) are driving along, singing “Amazing Grace” at the top of their lungs. Well, Luke and Jesse are. Bo just looks sort of amused.
So the Dukes get to a farm, owned by a guy named Tolliver, who has both a hot daughter and a pretty pronounced stutter. Jesse bitches about transporting what turns out to be horse feed in the General Lee, and points out that they have a perfectly good pickup truck. Good for you, Jesse.
So, everyone heads up to the Tolliver farm, where Rosco’s sirens spook the horse, which causes him to run off, and Bo has to hop on a different, presumably shittier, horse to save her. He does so, and Dunlap and his crony see how fast Manassas can go, and resolve to steal the horse as soon as possible. Boss, having seen as well, wants to do a real time trial on a real track, and, if everything turns out okay, he’ll forgive Tolliver’s back mortgage pay, and pay for his entry in the race! The Dukes agree to keep the horse at their place overnight until the time trial the next day, which is weird, because even though Boss says the Tolliver place is falling apart, the damn horse has been living there all its life, I doubt one more night would hurt it, really. But anyway, plot moving forward!
Boss contrives a bait and switch plan in which Cletus, driving erratically, nearly runs into the Dukes while transporting Manassas, and Molotov cocktails his flipped car. Then, while they are checking on him, Rosco switches out Manassas with a different horse.
At the time trials, the Tollivers are all “What the fuck? This is not my horse!” Bo and Luke are as shocked as anyone, but Boss has them arrested for rustling. During the arrest, Luke somehow manages to cuff Boss and Enos together, and they get away, just like they always do.
Back at the farm, everyone (and Cooter!) sits around eating watermelon and discussing the situation. Cooter tells them that Tolliver isn’t too upset with them, as he knows they didn’t steal the horse. They deduce that Boss is probably keeping the horse nearby, and resolve to go look for it, their remaining melon uneaten. Meanwhile, Rosco, who actually DOES know where the horse is being kept, brings it some food and leaves. He was followed there by Dunlap and Co., who steal the horse, finally.
Back in town, Enos remarks about the hay that’s in the back of Rosco’s car. He tells Enos about taking hay to where the horse is. Daisy conveniently stops by and chats up Enos, who tells her about where the horse is. She, in turn, tells Bo and Luke, who head that way, only to pass the horse thieves on the road.
They stop and alert anyone who will listen via CB about the situation, when Boss and Rosco show up and arrest Bo and Luke again. The Balladeer pipes up and totally burns Texas, saying, “Getting arrested twice on the same day for the same thing, you kind of get the feeling that you’re in Texas.”
In jail, Luke makes a deal with Boss, saying that they’ll tell them where the real rustlers are, if they let them out. He agrees, and they leave. Cooter alerts the boys that he just serviced a van that looks a lot like the rustlers’ van, AND it once said Dunlap Horse Ranch on it. Luke tells Cooter to meet them somewhere, and tells the Tollivers that everything’s gonna be all right, probably because there’s only 10 minutes left.
After a tussle with Dunlap, they knock him out and take the horse back, Luke riding it back along a trail, while Bo rigs up a fake horse tail sticking out the back of the trailer and steals it, the rustlers giving chase.
They eventually realize they’ve been took, and head back to try and catch Luke. Despite their best efforts, they don’t. and Luke rides the horse up just in time to register for the big race. Manassas wins the race, and everything turns out okay, except for Lulu. She came down with the gout from eating pig knuckles, and couldn’t be there.
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