Monday, June 23, 2014

Season 2, Episode 8, “Hazzard Connection”

In which there’s a demolition derby, and my spell check does not care for the name of the villain…

We open at the Boars Nest, where Bo and Cooter are drooling over the new waitress, Bessie Lou, while Luke looks on in disgust, remarking “She walks like a trucker!”
Afterwards,  Rosco is searching a truck and trailer full of junked cars, under suspicion that the driver’s boss, Augie Detweiller, is smuggling something. The Balladeer pipes up and fills us in on who Augie Detweiller is, and that he steals fancy racing engines and then puts them into junked car bodies, so he can then smuggle them out of the county and sell them. Wouldn’t it be easier to just operate somewhere closer to a city, which is certainly full of chop shops and the like?
Back at the farm, Bo and Luke are waiting for Cooter to help them repair something, and he’s late, because Cooter is a jerk. Daisy comes outside and tells the boys that Cooter just called from Colonial City, and wants them to come pick up some junked cars for Augie’s demolition derby. They all hop into Daisy’s car and head over. Uh oh!

At the Boars Nest, Boss asks Rosco for a report on the Detweiller situation, noting that the state police have asked Boss to keep an eye open, and that he can’t abide a crook in his county…that doesn’t give him a cut. Truly, Boss is a paragon of morality. Enos comes in and reports that it seems like Bo and Luke are working for Detweiller. Boss tells Enos to prepare to arrest the Dukes for aiding and abetting, and to keep his eyes glued to Detweiller.

So Bo and Luke pick up the cars and smash them into each other while arguing about the waitress again. Luke offers up the insult of “She got skinny legs and crooked feet!” Unfortunately, the captions turn it into something altogether different:
They deliver the cars to Detweiller and watch as a rigged “Slammer” car cruises around the track. Unfortunately, a slammer car has nothing to do with POGS, but rather is a regular demo derby car with six inches of concrete in the doors and trunk, giving the driver an advantage. It’s apparently super illegal. Bo and Luke seems suspicious, but Detweiller assures them the slammer is just for show between races, and he’d never use one in a competition race, stopping just shy of winking when he says it. Bo and Luke seem convinced.
Rosco and Enos are there, and witness Detweiller give the Duke some advance money for bringing more cars over to him. Apparently, Detweiller is aware the cops are watching, and has known about it all week, and has been setting up Bo and Luke to take the fall if their plan goes awry.

So Rosco sends Enos over to stake out the Duke farm, and he’s witness to all sorts of suspicious sights, like Daisy hanging laundry!
And Jesse plowing the field, which is the first time I’ve seen anyone doing any actual work around the farm!
So it turns out that Daisy is well aware they’re being watched, and tells Bo and Luke about it, also mentioning that Cooter’s Garage is being watched, too, only she says”Grr-age.”
Luke comes up with a plan to get Enos to tell them what’s going on, by disconnecting something in Enos’ car, forcing him to get a ride with Bo and Luke in a junker car they’re delivering to Detweiller. He has no choice, so he goes along. Luke brings up the spying, and Enos says it’s police business, but the Dukes don’t give a shit about police business!

Luke pretends the breaks on the car are out and starts swerving around drunkenly. Enos, not wanting to die without coming clean, tells them what’s going on. Bo and Luke are shocked about Detweiller, and Luke puts the brakes on. Enos is understandably upset that they made him disobey his orders, but really, you’d think he’d know by now that when you’re friends with the Dukes, you’re gonna get fucked over sooner or later.
After that brilliant bit of skullduggery, the Fates give Luke Duke a big “fuck you!” and the bakes go out, for reals this time! Luckily, no one is killed or injured, except a fence and probably a bunch of fish after they end up in a pond.
After Luke comes up with the plan to figure out what’s being smuggled, he and Bo head over to the demolition derby track to look for jobs, asking Detweiller if they can drive in the derby and get some “real money.” Detweiller laughs at them, saying that even if they could handle one of his cars, they’d have nothing to lose, so he wants them to drive the General Lee in the derby, then calls them chicken, not thinking they’ll risk the damage. Bo will not stand for this insult, and a very slow demolition derby race begins!

After several minutes of Bo narrowly avoiding being hot and Luke looking on anxiously, Detweiller agrees to let them race. Rosco, who’s still tailing them, witnesses this and heads off to tell Boss, who’s busy throwing darts at a picture of Bo and Luke.

Detweiller send them over with a truckload of cars over to Choctaw County, with Rosco hot on their trail. The boys see this and realize that they might be smuggling something right now, and if Rosco catches them with it, it’ll be curtains for them!

Enos gets a warrant and drives to meet Rosco on his way to where the boys are headed. Meanwhile, Daisy, apparently having been told of this eventuality by Luke (it’s weird, he tries to raise her on the CB, but she never answers, yet she’s right where she needs to be), pulls her car in front of Rosco’s cruiser, causing it to smash into Daisy’s Plymouth, HARD.

So after they pass Rosco and Daisy, Luke notices they’re being followed, and Bo tries to lose them down a dirt road. The pursuers are undeterred, and are eventually revealed to be Detweiller and his goon, claiming they were testing the boys’ ability to work under pressure. He says they passed his test, and to report the next day for some “real work”. Isn’t that what they were doing already, minus the being followed? Ugh.

Having waited the entire night in the town square, the boys and Cooter finally see Detweiller drive off, and follow him to the local abandoned stone quarry, which is where he is operating out of.  They sneak into the operation via a convenient cave, and rifle through an office, only to realize that, ascot or no, Detweiller isn’t stupid enough to hide anything there when he knows Rosco has been following him. In their haste to avoid being seen, they see that Detweiller is smuggling stolen racing engines, which we knew about many many paragraphs ago. They are eventually caught, and Bo retaliates by swinging and missing at the guy, while the guy very nicely reacts and falls down anyway.

After an exciting escape, they head off to tell the state police what’s going on, taking the evidence with them on the trailer. There’s a big end-of-episode chase where everybody gets involved, even Daisy and Jesse, who are much closer to the county line at the farm than I would have guessed. Luke runs the smugglers off the road, causing their car to flip completely upside down, but they’re fine, because there’s two minutes left, and they need to be arrested.

Luke takes the evidence to the state police as they were originally planning, and Detweiller and Co. get sent to prison. Everything goes back to normal, and Bo and Luke celebrate their hard work by wining and dining the new barmaid and her sister, who Luke can’t seem to find fault with.

As for the Hazzard Connection, well, someday we’ll find it…

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