Sunday, July 28, 2013

Season 1, Episode 8: “The Big Heist” – Originally Aired 3-30-1979

In which the Dukes pull off a non-robbery…

First off, I want to apologize for the lateness of this post. I’ll try not to make a habit of it.

We open with a car parking in front of the Hazzard County courthouse. A guy gets out and starts trimming the hedges, looking nervous while doing so. Rosco pulls up to the sign near this guy’s car and removes a piece of tape from it, revealing that the “Parking” sign was really a “No Parking sign  all along!
Hedgeman dons a ski mask and rushes into Boss’ office, where he’s counting out illegal moonshine money. He demands Boss fill a sack with the money and runs off, only to find his car has been towed. Panicking, he jumps into a passing General Lee, which Boss sees, and thus assumes the robber was Bo, as Luke is driving. Boss tells Rosco to arrest the Dukes, because of course he does.
The robber kicks Bo and Luke out of the General Lee and is quickly pursued by a police car, so he pulls into the Boar’s Nest and quickly stashes the money in the back of what turns out to be Uncle Jesse’s truck. Inside, the Robber, whose name turns out to be Neil Bishop, meets Daisy, and it’s implied that they want to fuck each other.
Meanwhile, Rosco comes upon Bo and Luke and demands to know where the money and car are. They tell him about Neil, but of course he refuses to believe them, so they run away. Bo says he knows a shortcut, and they run down the side of a riverbed, only to be foiled by Rosco standing on the bridge that runs over said river. He then arrests them.

Rosco stops for gas and is accosted by a kid holding a very real looking water pistol. Bo and Luke play along with him and convince Rosco this kid is a midget and part of their gang. They use this opportunity to run off, and Rosco gets a face full of water for his troubles.

Bo and Luke stop by the Boar’s Nest in an attempt to take Daisy’s car, but she tells them she drove Jesse’s truck. They take it, and tell her to have Jesse meet them at one of their old still sites. Inside, Neil looks pretty upset at his money driving off, and schemes Daisy into letting him stay at the farm for the night.

The boys get to the still site and tell Jesse what’s going on, he ad vises them that there’s no evidence, and thus no case. Rosco, Enos, and Boss conveniently appear and say they DO have evidence, namely some stray bills and the ski mask Neil had left in the General Lee. So, they arrest the boys, and Uncle Jesse says, and I quote, “I’ll be down to see you as soon as I finish my chores!” What the hell? Your nephews are being falsely arrested and you’ve gotta finish some shit up? Priorities, man!

Jesse, Daisy, and Neil arrive at the farm. Daisy is freaking out about the boys being falsely arrested, saying she’s going to get her bow and arrows to do some country vengeance. I don’t get that, she’s not on probation, she can go in with guns blazing if she wants to! Jesse tells her to calm the fuck down, he’s got shit under control.

Neil is introduced to Uncle Jesse, who agrees to let him stay in the boys’ room, as they’re in jail and all. Meanwhile, Neil is eyeing up the back of the truck with the sack of money in it, and offers to unload the truck for Jesse so he can get over to the jail faster. This is apparently not suspicious at all! Jesse gets to the jail just in time for another exciting episode of Jesse Duke: Back-Porch Lawyer! He and the boys determine that Neil is the guy that pulled off the robbery! The complete stranger who rolled into town and gained all of the main characters’ trust turned out to be the villain? Now I’ve seen everything! Uncle Jesse then rushes out to warn Daisy.

Bo calls Enos over and tells Enos that they’re ready to confess. He takes them into an office and sits down to type up their confession, and somehow (the scene cuts away to some bullshit between Neil and Daisy that’s not worth mentioning) they end up cuffing him to a chair, rag tied in his mouth, shoved into a corner. They then leave before things go in an unsettling direction.

At the farm, Neil grabs the money and tries to make his escape, but Daisy has figured out the ruse, and threatens him with a shotgun. He grabs it when Jesse gets home and ushers them into the house. Meanwhile, Rosco and Boss look for Enos, and they can’t find him, despite being in the same room. They don’t even look behind the door, and he, for some reason, doesn’t even try and make a noise.

Bo and Luke get to the farm, and are corralled into the living room with the rest of the family, where Neil explains that he’s no thief, Boss is! He only robbed Boss because he was sold some faulty goods, and didn’t have time to count the money, so he just took it all. The Dukes believe him, and, once Neil reveals that it’s illegal money, decide to call in their old revenuer friend, Harvey Essex. Why they don’t call Huntley back in is unexplained, maybe she got the fuck out after her embarrassing adventures in Episode 5.

So they hatch a plan to have Bo re-rob Boss, and Luke has the revenuer stand outside to catch Boss when he comes outside yelling about his liquor money being stolen. They do so, and there’s this ridiculous scene where the General Lee is driving around on its passenger-side wheels, which just looks like it’s really bad for the car. I can’t imagine that there’s any sort of practical use. Bo gives Boss the money sack back so he will have it when he runs outside.

So Boss runs out and is busted. The Dukes and Neil celebrate, and give Neil their reward money. Bo mentions that they forgot about Enos, who by my count has been tied up for about 2 days. Then they laugh about it, not caring that their friend is probably dead, and drenched in his own waste.

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