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Season 1, Episode 7: “Luke’s Love Story” – Originally Aired 3-16-1979

In which a girl enters a derby, and Luke falls in love…

At the Boar’s Nest, the Balladeer tells us about the Annual Hazzard Obstacle Derby, a super dirty, super illegal race, but not so illegal that it doesn’t have the full sponsorship of the police force and county commissioner.

Cooter bursts through the door on a motorcycle, wearing his beloved “Dukes of Hazzard Crew” jacket, and looking like an honest-to-goodness crazy person.
He’s arrived with the race’s trophy in tow, which means that Rosco can announce the lineup for the race, but first he tells Cooter to get the goddamned motorcycle out of the bar; Cooter responds by basically throwing the bike outside.
Rosco finally get around to announcing the racers: Enos, Cooter, Luke, and Amy Creavy, a girl! Many a joke is made about how girls can’t race, and Luke introduces himself. They are then introduced to Frankie, Amy’s mechanic, who is also female, and in possession of a pretty hilarious voice: she talks like she’s got a wad of phlegm the size of a baseball lodged in her head.
Daisy offers the women a drink on the house, and then we see a couple of guys leering at them from over in the corner. They’re Turk Foley and his pal, who I’m going to call J.D.
Turk wanders over and tries to get Amy to come talk to him, dragging her off. Luke intervenes, and gets a punch in the face for his troubles. Boss and Rosco sit and watch the fight for a minute, and then Boss reluctantly tells Rosco to break it up. Turns out Turk used to be Amy’s mechanic, but she fired him for putting nitrous oxide in her engine and because he wouldn’t accept Amy’s romantic rejections.

Boss tells Rosco that he needs to win the race at any cost, and when Rosco asks why, Boss reveals that his mother’s ashes are sealed inside the trophy, and thus needs to get the trophy back permanently (the trophy is yours to keep if you win in four times, not three, as Boss had assumed). He tells Rosco to make sure he does.
Daisy has offered to let Amy and Frankie stay with the Dukes, as the local hotel is full. Bo and Luke find out about this by getting undressed for bed and the girls pop up out of their beds. Daisy says she left a note in the bathroom, but Bo says he was too busy shitting to read a note.

The next morning, Bo and Frankie head into town, leaving Luke and Amy to make out and talk about crankshafts or something. Bo stops by the garage and finds Turk messing around under the hood of Amy's car, which is stored at the garage for some reason. Turk and J.D. beat up Bo until he throws a ton of oil at them until they run off. Rosco appears and Bo explains what was going on, and Rosco tells Bo to stop harassing the tourists.
Frankie comes in and sees Bo poking around to see what Turk did, and accuses him of sabotage. He gets all pissed and bets her $50 that Amy won’t even finish the race. She one ups him and proposes  putting The General Lee up against their car, Lucifer, winner takes the loser’s car. He agrees. Some time later, he goes to talk to Uncle Jesse about it, as he is feeling terribly guilty about the whole thing, as General Lee is only half his, the other half belongs to Luke. After a long talk, he advises Bo to call off the bet.

Meanwhile, Luke tries to convince Amy to back out of the race, as the guys in the race play dirty, and she tells him to back off, she’ll be fine. He continues to protest, so she takes him for a drive in Lucifer to show him how capable she is. They drive, and everything goes fine until her brakes give out, and they nearly go over a cliff before narrowly swerving off to the side. Luke discovers that Turk has poked the brake lines full of holes. She tells Luke she still won’t quit, and then it’s implied they fuck in or around the car.

At the Boar’s Nest, Bo tries to call off the bet, but Frankie won’t let him. Seems like this is just a verbal thing, and, as he doesn’t really own the car, she can’t really hold him to it, but he lets the bet remain on instead of telling her to go to hell. Luke and Amy talk over their relationship, Luke stating that he wants to get serious, but that he still wants to be free to fuck whoever he wants. She rightfully tells him to go fuck himself, and leaves with some random guy.


Daisy collects cigarette butts in a a pail, and after a scuffle, the racing trophy ends up spilled into the pail full of ashes. Boss Hogg is understandably upset.


That night, Luke has a long talk with Uncle Jesse about the Amy situation, and he eventually is convinced to give up his man-whore ways. The next morning, he tells Amy about it, but quickly admits that it’d never work, as once you’re a pussy hound, you’re a pussy hound all the way. She breaks it off with him, again, and storms outside, where Frankie reveals Bo’s stupid “bet the General Lee” plan.

During the race, it’s revealed that Turk had knocked Cooter out and is racing in his car, trying to  take out Amy. Luke comes to her aid when he sees that it’s Turk instead of Cooter, and Amy wins the race. Frankie demands the keys to General Lee,. and Bo explains to Luke about the bet. Rosco arrests Turk, and Luke tells Amy that he let her win. She’s mad and lets Luke take her trophy, saying she’ll come back and win it fair next year. Frankie gives Bo the keys back, and Luke keeps the trophy on the mantle as a reminder of how getting his dick wet cost him the love of a woman.

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